How can I help my child in sports?

Most young athletes are nervous or anxious before playing a game. Some even have a heart that beats faster and they tense up easily. You can often see the concern in their eyes.

Young athletes are not the only ones who get nervous before a competition; champions do too.

Being scared can be expressed in two ways: negatively or positively.

Parents can help their children manage their fear.

First, be aware of your own anxiety or nervousness. Many parents feel anxious when they watch their son or daughter play. Some parents should get up and go for a walk to relax and recognize that their own nervousness can affect their children's feelings and performance.

Help your child understand that their anxiety can help them play well and that they can benefit from it. By comparing good and bad games, children can become aware of and determine that these unpleasant physical sensations are there to serve them.

Focus on the process, not the result. Children often feel the pressure to win, which often generates negative fear. Parents can instead insist on the positive aspects of the match, even if their child has lost. For example, congratulate them on their progress on a technical skill or on their fighting spirit.

Understand what motivates your child. Some play tennis to please their parents who want to live or relive their own experience. Kids are often anxious about doing the right thing to make them happy and not disappoint them.

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Children are children!

They are not mini adults. Their emotional power is much more fragile than ours. When we place too much expectation on the fragile shoulders of our children, even with the best intentions in the world, they appropriate our own goals in order to do well and to meet our expectations.

Failure and defeat represent a psychological injury that shakes their confidence and self-esteem because beyond the defeat, which is already difficult to bear, they failed in our eyes.

Not to mention sometimes, the frequent discrepancy between the objectives of the parents and those of their child. In addition, they have to face multiple distractions.

There are two kinds of distractions: internal and external.

Internal distractions result from negative thoughts, doubts about their ability to do well, not being up to expectations, or those of their coach or parents. Many young players focus on losing points instead of focusing on one point after the other and forgetting about the mistakes. Young children have a hard time accepting to miss. They almost never say "well done" to their opponent. Each point lost carries them into a negative emotional spiral that each point gained cannot compensate for if they do not learn to accept their mistakes.

Our role as parents is important in guiding them emotionally.

External distractions are more related to the environment: bad weather, the opponent, referees, the public, and, of course, the parents or the coach.

We must be aware that the emotional charge present in any competition is very heavy to bear for a young child. There is a lot of information to manage and specially to eliminate in order to focus solely on the game. Some of them manage it very well naturally, but for the most part, it’s panic on board.

The pleasure of playing above all

All of this can be learned, provided you are aware of what our children expect from playing any sport, are attentive to their feelings and objectives, and preserve their pleasure to play.

Because, let's not forget... Children must first and foremost take pleasure in what they do; otherwise, sooner or later, they will drop out. Too much stress and pressure at an emotional age can be a real disaster.

Each child is different and has different emotional maturity. To ignore it is a big mistake that many parents and coaches make without knowing it, simply because they believe they are doing right and that only the result counts.

The confidence and self-esteem of a young player must be built in training, as games are lost or won, without pressure and with easy-to-reach goals. By constantly focusing on what is positive in your child's play and attitude, you will help them want to progress and take on challenges while having fun.

So, how can you help your child in sports?

Let them do it.

If they want to speak, let them speak. If they want to be quiet, let them be. Your child is already in "active thinking" mode before a match, so there is no need to add more pressure to their mental mill. They have the right to think about what they can do, what they have learned, and have confidence in their own abilities for the day. Any good words you might add will only clutter their mind and undermine their self-confidence.

If they need to move before their match, let them do it. If they prefer to sit in a quiet and silent corner, let them be. Each child must find their style to enter competition mode. The less you say, the less you will be omnipresent, and the better it will be for releasing the stress inherent in any competition. Let your child discover their best operating mode, and you will be surprised during matches by their growing maturity. Victory or defeat is always at the end of the road, but the journey which is interesting and which makes one sometimes become a champion.