The trauma of school gym class
Let's take a moment to remember the trauma of school gym class.
The high jump is an athletic event that involves jumping over a bar between two vertical supports by using one leg. I was first introduced to this sport when I was 12 years old. The Fosbury flop technique was the method taught by our instructor. It involves approaching the bar with your back facing it and jumping over it by raising both legs last. My classmates always looked forward to Thursday afternoons as we had a two-hour sports class once a week.
How the trauma of school gym class started?
The trauma of school gym class began to develop over time. Slowly, our excitement for sports on Thursday afternoons diminished. The first high jump session involved setting up the jumpers and reception mats. There were two jumpers, one with a bar set at 75 cm and another at 90 cm. We started the session with 15 minutes of running around the field and the teacher asked us to jump over the obstacles, with no further instructions except to make sure we used the Fosbury flop technique.
The souvenir of the trauma of school gym class is always so vivid.
The teacher had an observation sheet to assess our performance, which included our name, first name, class, and height achieved. The memory of the trauma of school gym class remains vivid to this day. There were also three observation columns on the sheet. One column described the momentum of the jump, whether it was curved or straight and accurate or trampled. The second column included information on the pulse, such as whether the student landed, dove, or went up and then crossed the bar. Finally, the third column was about crossing the bar, indicating whether there was fear of falling or fear of the bar, and if the student fell on their buttocks, back, or shoulders. I also remember the instructor asking us about our dominant foot.
When it was my turn, I took off, looked at the bar, and naturally threw myself head first. It was a total failure.
We were given three tries, but my three attempts resulted in the same outcome – failure and embarrassment. Some of my classmates were in the same situation, but what struck me the most was my classmates who successfully crossed the bar, not just the 75 cm mark but also the 90 cm bar. This showed me that crossing the obstacle and passing the high jump was possible, but I couldn't understand how to overcome my fear of falling and being crushed against the hard plastic bar.
The groups are forming
Groups began to form. The first group included students who couldn't cross the bar, and the second group was those who could and continued to improve their technique. There was no way for the students in the first group to improve. All the focus was on the students in the second group to continue improving their performance. We were left on the sidelines with no chance to overcome our fear. We were seen as the students who lacked ability in sports. The teacher told us that we lacked coordination and were clumsy. However, falling is an essential part of learning to master the technical aspects of the high jump, and fear of falling can have significant effects during the approach phase of the jump.
The high jump is still a technical sport, and when you are 12 years old, it is difficult to fail repeatedly with no hope of improvement. Self-confidence is at its lowest, and there is no sense of pride. You feel different from others, diminished. You accept the inevitability that you are just different, less good than others, and lack the ability to move. At that age, it is difficult to ask why. Is it because we are less courageous? Do we really have a physical deficit? These questions are only asked as adults.
When you're a child, you have to move on from difficult experiences because there is no other choice. The pain is often too intense to bear. The high jump remains an unforgettable event in my life. The memories are vivid, and I recall every detail with clarity. The smell of the gymnastics class and the name of the teacher are also ingrained in my mind. I remember the students who crossed the bars, inspiring a sense of accomplishment and personal pride.
The impact of the trauma of school gym class on confidence
The confidence of those students shines through. It's hard not to feel envious of their sense of accomplishment and self-assurance. I yearn to experience that level of confidence, but at that time all I felt was sadness and shame. The gymnastics equipment, treadmills, and reception mats seemed massive to me, and I felt small and powerless in comparison. It was as if I was facing an insurmountable obstacle. I felt tiny, without any sense of control or hope. This image is still etched in my mind. The students who managed to cross the bar were tall and imposing, seeming to dominate the equipment and the world. I too aspire to dominate and feel that sense of empowerment.
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